


The Adventures of Snarkboy and Nerdish

by fizzyblogic (phizzle)



Category: All-American Rejects
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, M/M, WIP Amnesty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-23
Updated: 2011-02-23
Packaged: 2017-11-14 16:21:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/517245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phizzle/pseuds/fizzyblogic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I started this in 2007. It was going to be a present for <span class="ljuser"></span><a href="http://leanwellback.dreamwidth.org/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://leanwellback.dreamwidth.org/"></a><b>leanwellback</b>, and I am <em>gutted</em> that the inspiration for this just ... left. GUTTED I TELL YOU. I was in love with this idea and shall ramble a bit about it at the end. This is all I have of it, woe, rending of garments, it would've been so much fun to write. Ah well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Adventures of Snarkboy and Nerdish

_CHAPTER THE FIRST: BEGINNINGS_

Back when he was just Nick Wheeler, regular kid, Nick had a dog called Star. Well, Star wasn’t actually _his_ , he belonged to someone in the neighbourhood, but Nick kind of thought of him as his. He would follow Nick all the way on his paper route, usually coming right up to the door with him. They sort of stood out, the scrawny teenager on his sister’s bike, massive black dog galloping alongside. Star was one of those huge breeds that slobbered. It was gross, but Nick took paper towels with him every day; he’d give Star dog biscuits, Star would show slobbery affection, and Nick would clean up afterwards.

He was seventeen when he saw what appeared to be a fireball falling through the sky. He was on his route like normal, Star bounding to keep up, and it was only for a second but Nick looked up at the sky and saw a streak of fire hurtling at the horizon. It disappeared, and Nick figured it was the weirdest lightning he’d ever seen.

Star, however, was pretty spooked. He slowed down, whined, and slunk along close to the ground. Nick rode slower so Star could keep up, but the dog very obviously wanted to go and hide.

Nick stopped, and Star halted; body sinking even lower, he looked up at Nick. The poor thing was shaking. “You want to go home?” Nick asked. Star whined. “It’s okay, you don’t have to stay.” Star crept closer, gave Nick’s hand a wet lick, and bolted away in the opposite direction.

Nick finished his route. It was a few days before he saw Star again, but after that things went back to normal and he didn’t think about weird lightning again.

Until a year later.

*

It was only Nick’s fifth week of college, but the building he was in was on fire. Or possibly collapsing. Maybe both. The ceiling was getting sort of closer than it should, but Nick’s brain had slowed to a crawl. He heard what sounded a lot like his own voice shouting, “Everybody out, the exit’s this way,” and felt what seemed a lot like waving his arms to the left. He was choking. He’d only come here to party.

Things were sort of fuzzy. It was hard to breathe, and he kept hearing screams, but he also kept hearing himself shout through the thickening smoke, felt himself herding people to the exits. He hadn’t even known he knew where the exits _were_. It wasn’t like he’d been to this club before. He’d only been there an hour.

He couldn’t really see any more, and his voice was sounding weaker. He felt something surround him — maybe he’d fallen — and the edges of his reality started to tinge black.

Nick stopped being really aware of things. There was a blur of something — fields, air, coughing, a mouth — but nothing he could grasp hold of, for he didn’t know how long, until the world came into focus and he opened his eyes.

He was in a very unfamiliar room. The walls were painted white, though evenly-spaced globular shapes stood out in bright primary colours. He was lying on a squishy red couch with one end missing, in a sunken centre of the room. An egg-shaped chair hung on a chain from the ceiling, and small pictures in chunky frames adorned the walls, mostly depicting various patterns of polka dots.

“You’re awake,” exclaimed a voice. Nick turned around. A blond, stocky, _gorgeous_ dude was standing behind him, dressed in yellow and blue.

Nick cleared his throat, meaning to say _Who are you?_ , but instead coming out with, “Where am I, the 1960s?”

“No, no,” the guy said, “we didn’t move in time, I can’t do that.”

“Right. So is there a special reason we’re inside a lava lamp?” Nick asked. “Because if this is a dream, my brain needs some redecoration, know what I mean?”

The guy clapped his hands together. “You’ll do. You’ll do _nicely_.” Nick stared at him for a minute, until the guy added, “We saw Austin Powers when we landed. He really has an eye for décor.”

“Okay.” Nick massaged his temples. “Explain?” Then suddenly, without warning, a memory clicked into place. “Hey, you kissed me!”

“That was mouth to mouth,” the guy waved a hand. “If I’d kissed you for real, you’d know it.”

“Oh.” Nick paused. “Is that a cape?”

The guy turned around and fanned out what was, obviously and in fact, a cape. Much like his shirt, it was dark blue with yellow stars dusted over it. The stars on the cape were smaller than the ones on his shirt, but at the centre of both chest and back was one large five-pointed star, two curving swords crossed over it.

“Neat,” Nick observed. “Did you make it?”

“It was bestowed upon me by the Superhero Council.”

Nick blinked. “Oh. So you’re a superhero, huh?”

“I saved you from a collapsing, burning building,” the guy pointed out, by way of an answer. “Which, by the way, thanks for helping me get everyone out. You’ll make a great sidekick.”

“You’re w— sidekick?” Nick echoed.

“Yes, sidekick. I don’t have one, I’ve been looking for one since we landed, you’d be perfect.”

“I would?”

“You would,” the guy nodded. “I don’t know about you, but I could do with some more light.” Nick stared as the guy extended his fingers casually towards the window. Sparks shot out of them, and the thick white drapes across the room flew apart.

All Nick could see was white, and a stripe of blue. He stood up, walked over to the window — and nearly crumpled in a heap holding onto the floor.

They were perched on top of a cloud. There was nothing but sky above them, tapering to a deeper blue, and thick white rolls of cloud below.

This time, when Nick wanted to yelp, _What the **fuck**?_ , he just said, “Who _are_ you?”

“Ninja Star,” the guy answered, beaming, “from Trixohelticlus, in the Orion nebula. But you can call me Chris,” he added.

Nick grasped one fact, and one fact only. “You’re an _alien_?”

“Yes. My brother and I first came to Earth on the trail of — you know what, never mind. And just as an observation, you humans aren’t the most imaginative when it comes to names. Earth?”

“It’s direct.” Nick felt oddly defensive. “It gets the point across. It’s not trying to be _fancy_ , like Trixa … whatever your planet’s called.”

“Um.” Chris looked sheepish. “It means Big Rock In Space in the central language.”

“Hah!”

“At least it’s polysyllabic,” Chris huffed, folding his arms. “Describe yourself in one word,” he added, abruptly.

“Uh.” Nick was taken aback. “I guess I’m kinda nerdish? I mean, I was a band nerd in high —”

“Okay,” Chris interrupted, “at least it’s polysyllabic, _Nerdish_.”

“Wait, wait, hold up, I have a name. It’s Nick.”

“Nerdish is your sidekick name.” Chris still had his arms folded.

“The fuck, don’t I get to pick the name?”

“No. I’m the superhero, _I_ pick the name.”

“That’s bullshit. Couldn’t you pick something better?”

“There’s nothing wrong with Nerdish. I won’t hear a word against my sidekick’s name. I’m very loyal.”

“What if I don’t _want_ to be your sidekick?”

Chris finally looked him in the eye. “You got anything better to do?”

Nick thought about it. He hadn’t had a band since high school, and he sort of hated college, but there wasn’t really anywhere else for him to go. Besides, he _did_ kind of want to be a superhero’s sidekick. “Guess not.”

“Alrighty then.” Chris grinned.

 

\--------  
THAT IS ALL I HAVE ;____________; okay so I do remember vaguely some of my plans? You see, Ninja Star's brother is Ninja Jazz, aka Tyson, who finds Mike in a dingy bar somewhere and saves him from a falling drumkit or, something. ANYWAY Mike becomes Tyson's sidekick, and his sidekick name is Snarkboy because Tyson likes his snarking. Ninja Star and Ninja Jazz rendezvous at home, so Mike meets Nick, and I hadn't really thought about pairings but it would probably have been Nick/Tyson and Mike/Chris because LIFE.

And the fic would mostly have been Mike and Nick, hanging out having ADVENTURES like saving kittens from trees and rescuing children from drowning in kiddie pools because they're not actual superheroes. Meanwhile, Ninja Star and Ninja Jazz track down their father's killer and LASER BEAM HIM TO DEATH because it is their EVIL NEMESIS. Then they go home and watch movies with Mike and Nick in their BACHELOR PAD IN THE SKY and there are beer-filled hijinks and then they all go save the world and shit. So sad I never got to write this, why must the muse for it go awayyyy :(  



End file.
